Bye 2009

2009 has been a joyful but difficult year for us. The most joyful event would be the arrival of Rosalie. Since the third trimester in January, however, Rosalie was diagnosed too small and I was forced to stop working (meaning I had to abandon my master students-- fortunately their reports came out fine). Still, little Rosalie decided to come five weeks earlier than planned, on the day before my scheduled checkup with the anesthetist. She was born ‘all naturally’ without epidural for this reason. On the retrospect, that’s actually the good part.

Being ‘semi-premature’, Rosalie stayed with, or more like, glue to me instead of going to the box in a ‘neonatal kangaroo care ward’. A bonheur you might say, except by the end of the 4th day I had developed eczema of Rosalie’s shape that impregnated on my torso (ah! Did I mention that it’s skin to skin and hence sweat to sweat?) G was in to take the relay in the first part of the night each evening, so I could have a little free time devouring some extra food for my exhausted body.

I was also worried for Gaston, who vomited on the D-day (I was actually cleaning the sheets while preparing for the hospital) and on the first sight meeting his little sister. We (nor the doctor) were not sure of what happened to him, but he was definitely not happy and missing his mama. On the 5th day, we were told that we might be able to be discharged early seeing Rosalie’s good progress. On that night, wanting to have a good rest badly, I put little Li-Li down to her cot for the first time in the night and was not taking her temperature like a maniac as previous days. That was probably why her weight dropped again-- she used the energy to keep her warm instead. I know it’s probably due to hormonal emotions that I exploded in tears when learning I had to stay one more day in the hospital, but I was really worried for Gaston’s behavior and was fed up with the window view from my ward. Finally, we were out. Gaston became much calmer and is very fond of his little sister. Rosalie grew up in a rocket speed, and still does.

Another big event was Gaston started his preschool and I retook my professional activities, which means Rosalie went to her child minder for the day. It started out fine, we had a tight daily schedule but it’s working. After a while, though, Gaston became very difficult in the evenings and started to have night terror crises. Rosalie, on the other, was not much better either. She started out fine but soon after she refused to eat and became very much attached to me (physically) in the evenings. Her child minder was complaining of her being difficult and even hinting to 'discharge' her (yes, you're reading it correctly... this is a nanny-deficit world). Neither of them was sleeping well in the night, hence nor us. And, did I say we are working full time!!!

After a little nervous breakdown (me), a papa-disfigured night terror (G+Gaston) and two angry/anxious ladies’ manifestations (Rosalie + her nanny), we changed again our plan. We guessed we have overestimated Gaston’s capabilities in coping strict school structures, especially the ‘after school garderie care’ and decided to pick him up right after school at 16h40. We restarted another phase of re-adaptation for Rosalie at her nounou's, meaning picking her up earlier, too. G and I alternated our working hours by one who leaves earlier, came back earlier for the evening chores. I am in charge of improvising Rosalie’s lunch to make sure she got all the nutrition she needs. Although it is still not a perfect solution, although I still would like to work a bit more, although, for one reason or another, we still need more sleep…, we think it was a good alternative after all.

On a whole, our new life seems crazy with all these impossible barriers and my professional life is being sabotaged by my own children (!). I rather think that these are challenges here to train us, to make me enter another phase of capacity (oh~, I am obviously writing this on a 'bright-mood' day.).

Finally, I would like to use this opportunity to thank those of you who encouraged me by leaving a message on this blog, mail, msn or plurk..., when I was not so well... I am sure I came out of it positively because of your kind words! Happy holidays to all of you. :-)

這就是兩個天使般的搗蛋鬼~~